Month: June 2018

In the Church, we are told to follow the brethren. Primary children sing hymns honoring their bishops and prophets. Some of these songs imply that these leaders are infallible and will never say or do anything that is contrary to God’s will.[1] This creates a culture of hero-worship that is ripe for abuse. Church leaders are fallible. Our past history should be a warning to members that leaders can make serious mistakes and can harm others.[2] When we follow the Lord and lead with love, the Lord empowers us through His Atonement to become all that He created us to be.

Jesus said, “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”

Our family supports our local leaders when they are following the Lord. We pay our tithing, not to honor the bishop but because we love the Lord. We fulfill our callings for the same motivation. Every good thing that we do is motivated by our love for God.

We’ve had some great bishops who focused on the Savior and ministered with meekness and compassion. They did not seek the praise of others or misuse their priesthood power. Because they centered their Sacrament meetings and talks on the Lord, they inspired us to want to become more like Jesus and to keep His commandments.

Sadly, some bishops are abusive and cruel. Teaching members, especially children, to always honor and obey them may condition children to allow their bishops to abuse them. It has happened to too many children in our Church.

The praise in all of our talks and songs should go to our Father and to His Son, Jesus Christ, and not to fallible mortals. Jesus condemned the Pharisees because they “loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.” Jesus taught “that all men should honour the Son, even as they honour the Father. He that honoureth not the Son honoureth not the Father which hath sent him….How can ye believe, which receive honour one of another, and seek not the honour that cometh from God only?”[3]

I was impressed recently when an apostle recently visited our stake. When the people rose as he entered the room, he motioned for us to sit down. A servant leader, he spoke lovingly about the Savior and refused to accept any praise or flattery. His talk was centered on God and motivated us to want to love and follow the Lord. It was one of the most spirit-filled meetings I have attended. After the meeting, he met with each member and radiated the Lord’s love.

When our meetings, lessons, and talks focus on our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ, we feel spiritually edified. We want to do better and be better. We want to follow the Savior not out of fear or duty, but because we love Him.

Church leaders are fallible. Our past history should be a warning to members that leaders can make serious mistakes and can harm others.[3] When we follow the Lord and lead with love, the Lord empowers us through His Atonement to become all that He created us to be.

We pray that our Church will move from a culture of hero-worship to a culture of worshiping God. To do this, our talks and lessons will focus on our Father and His infinite love for His children. Our ministering will reflect the Savior’s love in all that we say and do. We will move from a leader-centered Church to a Christ-centered Church. Our testimonies will be based on God and our Savior– not on the Church or its leaders. Our songs and worship will be Christ-centered and not prophet-centered.

As we focus on the Father and on His Son Jesus Christ, we begin to understand how much God loves us and we feel happier, more peaceful, and more loved. We will be kinder to ourselves and others. We will have a greater sense of self-worth and fulfillment, knowing that God loves us with a matchless, incomprehensible love.

May we truly “talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, …that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.”[4]

1. Consider:

Follow the prophet, follow the prophet,
Follow the prophet; don’t go astray.
Follow the prophet, follow the prophet,
Follow the prophet; he knows the way.

2. Did the prophets know the way when they taught that Adam was God and that God was our Grandfather in Heaven, when they practiced polyandry, which means that Joseph Smith married women who were already married, when they taught that rape victim that they were better off dead, or when they forbid blacks from receiving the priesthood, temple ordinances, or being sealed eternally to their families?

3. John 12: 43, John 5: 23, 44

4. 2 Nephi 25:26

“And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.” Luke 4:8

Predators recognize that authority is usually unquestioned in the Church. Church members are told to only speak positively about their leaders. The LDS Church must start to teach members that leaders are fallible. Church members should be taught how to recognize and report abuse. The following are some critical steps the Church must take in order to stop harboring and enabling sexual perpetrators.

1. Problem: The LDS culture has a reverence for power and authority of male priesthood leaders.
Solution: The LDS Church should teach members to worship God alone and to remember that all of those in the Church are imperfect, including its leaders.

2. Problems: The LDS Church does not have procedures that evaluate and scrutinize the actions of its lay leaders.
Solution: The Church needs to implement increased scrutiny of lay leaders by opening a hotline where members can report ecclesiastial abuse.

3. Problem: Perpetrators have easier access to victims through ministering and church assignments.
Solution: Two-deep service must be implemented for every calling where perpetrators could access victims, including bishop’s interviews.

3. Problem: Perpetrators realize that victims are often shamed by Church leaders so survivors seldom report abuse.
Solution: Church leaders must be trained to cease from any procedure or policy that shames abuse victims.

4. Problem: Perpetrators know that the Church seldom reports abuse to police to protect its image.
Solution: After the Church determines that the victim is safe, abuse must be reported to police.

5. Problem: Sex offenders see that Church leaders often rationalize sex abuse or blame the victims.
Solution: Church leaders on every level need extensive training on the dynamics of sexual abuse, including grooming, that perpetrators and not victims are totally responsible for abuse, and how perpetrators tend to isolate and shame victims. Church leaders who participate in further abusing abuse victims should be released.

7. Problem: Perpetrators realize that the Church seldom tag records of abusers, allowing them to abuse others.
Solution: Abusers’ church records should be tagged so that ward leaders do not assign them to positions where they can further abuse others.

8. Problem: Abusers recognize that priesthood leaders tend to cover up the offenses of their colleagues and friends.
Solution: Church leaders should be monitored by their superiors and by Relief Society presidents to make certain that they hold abuse offenders accountable. Again, the hotline would be very helpful.

9. Problem: Perpetrators observe that victims are often silenced by the Church so that they can offend without impunity.
Solution: The Church must implement policies and procedures that make certain that survivors are not silenced.

10. Problem: Since the Church does not perform background checks on members who work with children in a Church calling, serial sex offenders may serve without the knowledge of Church members or leaders.
Solution: Church must perform background check before anyone is called to serve youth or children.

11. Problem: With the Church’s emphasis on missionary work, some members invite others into their homes and lives without due diligence.
Solution: Members should receive regular training on how to protect themselves and their families from sex offenders. They should be encouraged to speak frankly with their children about the methods abusers use to groom victims and abuse children.

12. Problem: Church leaders often deal with pedophilia as a sin and not as a crime.
Solution: Church members and leaders should be taught that abuse is a crime and that is should be reported to police.

13. Problem: Church literature asks bishops to help pedophiles turn away from their sin, something they are unqualified of doing.
Solution: Bishops should be advised to turn all mental health counseling over to trained professionals.

14. When abuse is reported, the Church does not implement meaningful reforms to protect LDS children. Bishops, for example, can still interview children alone even though a number of bishops have perpetrated on children during interviews.
Solution: Church should eliminate all one-of-one bishop interviews with children and youth.

15. LDS Church officials and its lawyers typically attempt to evade responsibility by hiding behind the “free exercise of religion” clause of the Constitution, statute of limitations technicalities and clergy-penitent privilege statutes.
Solution: Church must adhere to high ethical standards and determine than protecting its members from abuse is more important than protecting its reputation.

Utah,a predominantly LDS state, ranks first in the United States in sex abuse cases of children. The Church has a systemic abuse problem that must be addressed. The Church’s abuse hotline is only for ecclesiastical leaders to call the Church’s attorneys to make certain that the Church is not injured in any way. We need an abuse hotline dedicated to LDS abuse victims and manned by professional trauma and abuse therapists who have the authority to hold perpetrators accountable in the Church. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- Day Saints has a culture that too often enables sexual abusers. Because many times Latter-Day Saints leaders has not brought known abusers to justice and has even covered up abusers’ crimes, the Church is guilty of supporting illegal behavior and making it possible for more children and adults to be victimized.

This needs to stop. Now.

I learned to love my Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, through profound spiritual experiences related to my participation in the LDS Church. Some of these experiences occurred as I prayed, worshipped the Lord, and served others. God’s love is revealed in the world that He created, in the life of His Son, and in the Christlike lives of others. When it follows the Savior’s example, the Church can do much good and bless many lives. Many fast to feed the hungry. Many also sacrifice much to serve others. The Church inspires its members to minister to one another and many bless others through their service.

As we evaluate the choices the Church makes, we can also ask, Do its decisions promote love? Does it follow the example of the Savior? There are some areas in which the Church can improve. It is unloving to silence abuse victims, to exclude children from being blessed and baptized, and to devalue women and our LGTQI brothers and sisters. The Church can do better.

As we seek to become more loving, we need to ask ourselves:

• Do I feel better than others because of my race, sex, or sexual preference?
• Do I ignore or silence those who are suffering?
• Do I give generously of my time and money to help those in need?
• Do I forgive others so that I can be forgiven?

As we seek to love others, we can also expect the Church—that represents the collective body of its members—to do the same. We can ask our Church to:

• Eliminate any policies or practices that encourage misogyny, racism, or discrimination.
• Refrain from ignoring or silencing survivors of abuse, including those who have been abused by lay leaders.
• Give generously of its tithes to help the poor and those who are in need.
• Forgive others as it expects to be forgiven.

Our Church should radiate the love of the Savior and that love should be foundational to our talks, meetings, actions, and policies.

We pray that our Church will develop practices and procedures that reflect the love of God. We ask our Church to be honest, merciful, and compassionate. The Church should set an example which is worthy of its members to emulate.

Jesus said, A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” –John 13:34-35